You never know just how hard Satan works until you decide to go on a mission. I decided to go long before my parents really accepted the fact that their baby girl was serious about going and that they were going to have to let go of their daughter for eighteen months.
Satan knew the same time I did and he has been working way too hard, no days off and no breaks. Somehow life just gradually gets harder and you can't seem to figure out why. But, about a week or so ago, I broke down sobbing. I had no idea why. Life just felt like it had become to hard to bare and I felt so confused. I sat on my floor for about half an hour before I felt like I needed to email my Dad, who was on a business trip in Europe at the time.
Tearfully, I typed up a short message about how I didn't know what was going on other than I felt like I needed a Father's Blessing. I couldn't, and still can't, really explain why I needed it other than I felt like I needed some guidance, or comfort, or just possibly a shoulder to lean on and a pinch of clarity.
I can't tell you how relieved I was when I woke the next morning to an email response from him telling me that as soon as he was back, he would love to give me a blessing. Getting to the day when I could have the blessing was tough though. The Devil tried with all his might and it terrified me just how badly he wanted me to fail. But I couldn't let him win. Not now. Not ever.
Finally my dad was free to give me a blessing and like I said, I had no idea how to explain why I needed the blessing but I tried to explain as best I could.
I'm thankful for my father. He is the most caring, patient, understanding, and humble man that I have ever come to know in my entire life. He listening to me and although I could see the confusion in his eyes of what he needed to bless me with exactly, he walked up to me, put his hands on my head and started to pray.
I only remember tidbits about the blessing but I do know that the Holy Spirit was there, manifesting it's power to me-- I wasn't alone, I never had been. Of course, this made me cry, but I knew, I know, that the Lord is here to protect me. I feel stronger, more at peace, I am happy again. I now have realized that even if I still have hard days, that my happy place is when I rely on my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Thank you so much Dad for being worthy to give me a blessing when I needed it. I always know I can count on both you, as my earthly father, and my Heavenly Father through the rough times that will come my way.
I know for a surety that I am supposed to be going on a mission. There are people out there that are waiting to hear the Gospel that only I can reach. Man, I wish I could go now! But the Lord will take care of everything, I know that to be true!